Carnal fruit

I'm pretty sure that cider didn't exist in Biblical times, although it would have been interesting to see how the Garden of Eden turned out if they'd worked out how to ferment the fruit of the tree of life. But if cider had been around, some Biblical references to it might have been…

As is written in Holy Scripture, Drink ye not the brew of the fruits of the apple tree lest thy neighbour mock thee for thy philistine palate, saith the LORD.

The fruits of the SPIRIT art thus: Faith, Hope and Cider. And the greatest of these is Cider.

Verily I say unto ye, the man who scores because of the effects of Satan’s brew shall have the mark erased from his bedpost for such unions please not the LORD.