Wednesday, February 28, 2007

More fun with words

Back in August (August!) I posted some winning entries from the Washington Post's neologism contest. Here are some more, courtesy of Quietly Breathing… I've added an asterisk to the ones I don't get, so you can either just laugh at me or explain 'em.

Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash*.
Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question in an exam.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms*.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul flies up on to the roof and gets stuck there.
Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by circumcised men.

The Washington Post's style invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy (v.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease.
Karmageddon (n.): When everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

And one I offer myself (with mild-mannered assistance from Gutenberg):
Pubterfuge (n.): The processes a man goes through (such as chewing gum, dousing himself in copious amounts of aftershave) to conceal from his girlfriend that he has been to the pub.


Blogger Grill said...

Gargoyle - gargle + oil.
Oyster - One who says "oy".

2:22 a.m.? Someone's playing late...

4:26 AM  

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