Friday, September 29, 2006

Oh, for an ageless identity

I have just been asked for ID while attempting to buy a bottle of red wine.

I entered the shop, and asked the assistant for a bottle of red wine, European, that would go with a vegetarian meal so nothing too challenging, costing £6-10.

The assistant duly brushed the dust off an tempting-looking bottle of French red, then, as he approached the till, said: "Do you have any ID?"

"I'm 26!" was my crestfallen reply.

And it's true, I am 26, nearer to 27 than 25, and beyond the age when I should have to carry ID in order to buy alcohol. I may not look 26, but I certainly don't look 17. And I'm fed up of saying "Ah well, I'll be grateful when I'm 30." Grateful for what? Looking like a spotty wretched uneducated contributingnothingtosociety teenager?

And do I have the air of someone who is part way through their A-levels, rather than someone who has two degrees, one enagagement and a number of bereavements under their belt (my pants being where I keep such things)?

I have now been ID'd three times this year; in a pub in early Spring, in a supermarket on my way to Bestival and now in a quite-posh off licence in the City.

And I'm getting increasingly angry about it.

Any advice, Toller?


Blogger Toller said...

Due to having had a head transplant with a baby during my early twenties I have been ID'd many, many times. My advice is herein: don't complain at all but meekly hand over ID and get out of there. There are risky consequences to responding with any other emotion than humility:
1) Acting surprised brings the strange twisted cosmo-logical argument that at least you'll look like 12 when you're 80, as you say.
2) Joking is worse: a couple of times I've tried to flirt my way out if it with the barmaid at the spoons in forest hill, who has then told her colleagues to ID me for every drink for the rest of the evening, which ended up with me getting angry and a mate of mine getting barred. Another time I was trying a similar approach in oxford and for a couple of weeks afterwards my guinness would be served with a straw in it.
3) Getting angry is obviously bad since the barmen have all the power: we must strive against this dictatorship and seize control. To arms, comrades! You have nothing to lose but your pintpots.


2:21 AM  
Blogger quietlybreathing said...

My friend got ID'd in a hairdressers a couple of years ago at the age of about 25. The hairdresser asked her (younger) sister if her Mum knew she was getting her hair cut and then charged her the half-price under 15s rate.
Does that make you feel better?

5:09 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home