Fun with words

The Washington Post has an annual neologism contest, apparently, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Some of my favourites are...

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline

Whoever said Americans are obsessed with their appearance?

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Such as...

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
Glibido (v): All talk and no action
Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly

And my personal favourite...

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.