It's the 060606 affect...

I'm not saying that everyone hates me but if they did, this would be why:
My boss hates me because I'm a secret ponophobe and this is not an LPG crib sheet
My best friend hates me because he can never be my bridesmaid
Lynne Truss hates me because I can never remember whether it should be that effect or which affect
The other Lynn hates me because I turned out to be more normal than she'd hoped
My wee wan friend hates me because I'm insufficiently sympathetic to her mild anuptaphobia
My cat hates me because Harry Potter won't be cool when she grows up and I don't think I can ever compensate for the aclurophobia of her previous owners
My little brother hates me because there can only ever be one ooother one
Grilbobaggins hates me because I'm never free to play squash
My dad hates me because I never developed peccatophobia, and verred towards homilophobia at one stage (although Elizabeth I cured me of that)
My bus friend hates me because I arrive at work at erratic times, although I guess she should be grateful that neither of us suffer from hodophobia
My boyfriend hates me because I'm a peladophobe, and just haven't told him yet, although he has helped cure me of my pentheraphobia
But lest anyone (either of you...) reading this develop a modern version of scriptophobia, I'll sign off