Thursday, June 07, 2007

Divine trinities

I often get forwarded curious personal questionnaires by friends and more distant acquaintances that use the banal "what colour socks are you wearing today?" as a pathway into the slightly more profound "what is your biggest regret?".

Alone as I was in the pub one night this week, and, if only I had been aware of them then, pondering these words from George Eliot "What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?", I devised my own "our survey sayeth" by which to analyse myself and face the challenge of choosing my three…

1) occasions when a pint tastes best
2) things that people could say to you that would make you go out and buy something specific
3) characters from literature/personalities from history that you would least like to spill your pint on
4) ridiculous email chain letters or offers that you've forwarded or been tempted to
5) photos that you would least like to see
6) philosophical theories or religious doctrines that you adhere to, in your own words
7) aspects of England that you'd most miss if you were exiled
8) people you think it would be most lucrative to your financial or emotional health to be truthfully able to say you had kissed
9) characteristics that you dislike in other people but occasionally see in yourself
10) titles of books that you would like to write if you were given a publishing contract, £100,000 and a teasmade